The Rockiest of horrors

The Rocky Horror show is a classic ! I thought I'd share the story of our night at a live performance of this cinema/theatre classic.

Some years ago there was a version of the show featuring Craig Mclaughlan (sp?) as Dr Frank'n'furter and Red Symons as the Narrator amongst many others. Now I don't remember why we were going out but it was obviously when DH was still willing to be seen with me in public - maybe this was when things changed LOL

The S(e)x Files Part One

November 2001.


First time chat - DD was 3yrs and 7 months old when our guinea pig had babies. DD was fascinated by the whole process, she had asked if she could see them being born and we obliged. A few days later DD asked me "how did the babies get in there, I mean, how do they get made"

So I responded with the bit about the mummy's special egg and the daddy's special seed, very generic and unspecific. DD asks - "How does the daddy get his seed in the mummy?"

Hmm - I figured truth is the best option even if it's glossed over a little. Basics about the daddy's bits and the mummy's bits. DD then comes up with "Is it the same for people?" Now I figure this is a pretty clever question for her age so I stick with the truth. "Yes, darling, it is." DD then asked very pertinant questions about the uterus etc and I ended up having to get a book down from the shelf (lucky we had one) that showed her what was where. So we discussed the physicals of birth etc in response to her questions.

DD then asks if Daddy and I do that. "Yes, darling we do." DD - "So do you have a baby in your tummy then?" me- "No darling, mummjy can't have a baby in her tummy, we've talked about that" DD "So why do you do it then?"

Me - (Mentally my jaw was agape but I managed to answer) "Because we enjoy it"

What else could I say??

The (Se)x file Part Two

This was June 2004

Skip a few years to when DD is now 6 and 3 months. Background info here - DD has a male friend (K)who she considers very special and was to be staying the night at his house that weekend.

The story:

The girl next door was heading for her seventh birthday and her party must have been a subject for discussion at school. DD comes home and says "Mum, what's sex?" I figure - Ok she's forgotten our earlier discussions and ask "Why do you ask?" DD then tells me how this boy in her class had said to the girl due to have a party that if she invited him they'd have sex. I was pretty taken aback at that but this boy has a brother who is 13 yrs older so I figure he's been eavesdropping or something and most likely has no idea what he's saying (OK that's what I'm hoping so don't disillusion me).



So I tell DD the basics of sex - the bit that it's what two people do to have a baby.

DD - "How do they do that?"

me - "Well the man has to put his penis inside the woman's vagina"

DD - "HOW DO THEY DO THAT !!! ?" (How can a question also be an exclamation - it was tho' I swear it.)

me - "well darling, you're not really old enough for that yet"

DD - So how old do you have to be?"

me - "For what, to know about it or to do it?"

DD - "Well for both"

me - "To know about it, mostl likely you'll know pretty much everything by the time you're 12 or so"

DD - "And to do it?"

Me - (thinking damn she didn't forget) "Well darling, it's not really an age thing, it's when you find that one person you want to share this with, it's a very special and private thing. For some it may be 16, for others 26, or any other age."

DD - (spoken in a very knowing manner) "Well, I've already found the one"

Me - (nearly choking) "Oh, have you darling, and who might that be?"

DD - (Still in that 'knowing; voice) K.

Me - "And when might this be darling?" (Gulp,quick ring K's mother and cancel weekend plans)

DD - (still the same voice) "When I'm 20"

Me - "well that's lovely darling" (I nearly collapsed with relief I tell you)

I dont think I'll cope with the next talk ...

The (Se)x file Part Three

June 30th 2006

I was at a friends house today and was reminded of another time when sex was the topic of discussion. The friend is K's mum (DD's special male friend...) One time when DD was again to stay the night (they are one of the few people we trust and DD is comfortable with if we need her cared for overnight). DD leant over to me not long before I was to leave and whispered something in my ear. I don't recall what but immediately K says at the top of his voice "What's she whispering, is she saying we're going to have sex"

This prompted blushes from my DD, laughter behind a hand from me and an embarrassed discussion with K's mum. She's not very comfortable doing those talks with her boys yet so some of the time I was laughing at her squirming as she explained to her eldest boy exactly what sex was. The joys of boys :)

The (Se)x files part Four

This is a conversation I had with my daughter when she was nine:

June 30th 2006

Well we had another one of those talks tonight.

Somehow DD bought up the subject of getting pregnant and asked (again) how does it happen. The questions she comes up with are amazing. I got asked (again) how you have sex and how old you should be. I also got asked what do you do, how do you use your mouth, what body parts you might use, why DH and I have sex. I even got asked how DH and I have sex ! I told young miss that was none of her business ! LOL

I've done the big talk about her coming to me and letting me know she wants to have sex when she's lots older so I can make sure she's safe and not likely to get pregnant. She then asked what would I do if she did... All I could tell her was that I'd love her still and we'd deal with it if it ever happened. I'm really not ready for all of this. DD then told me she was worried about getting to teenage years as so many teenagers stop listening to their parents and if she does that maybe she won't tell me she's ready and then what will happen, I'm soooo not ready for this...

I think I need 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer. Nope I need at least 2 of each.